Setting Boundaries

Are you naturally a nurturer?

Do you try and take care of everyone around you, but then leave no energy for your own needs?

It is a beautiful trait to want to look after those around you, however if you totally deplete yourself then you will have nothing left to give.

I know many women, myself included, who like to think they can fix things by surrounding it with love and energy. In fact, over my past ten years of being a personal trainer, I often felt like my sessions were therapy sessions. My clients would share their deepest thoughts with me as we were working out together. Often at the end of each session I would feel totally exhausted. Drained physically, mentally and emotionally.


I had to learn to protect my own energy.

I used to think that creating boundaries was a negative thing. I am here to tell you it is not. Creating boundaries lets you and others know exactly how much you are willing to give and take.

  1. Know your limits: Set out what are your non-negotiables .You cannot set boundaries if you do not know what they are for you. If you find yourself in a situation that is not aligning with these beliefs, then you need to remove yourself from that situation.

  2. Respect your own time: Set a schedule that everyone is aware of. You have a hard out that you need to honor. Do not let others take advantage of you to suit their own timings.

  3. Don’t say yes when you really mean NO: This was a hard one for me. Rather than rushing to please and say Yes immediately. Sit and think about what it is you really want. If it is no, that is ok, be strong and firm in that choice and let others know exactly where you stand. You will find they will respect you for it.

  4. Preserve your energy: This is an important one. You cannot possibly help others, if you have nothing for yourself. One of my favorite ways to preserve energy is to get a good night’s sleep. Things are usually so much better in the morning. Other ways are to meditate, take a long bath, watch your favorite tv show or eat a healthy meal.

  5. Validate yourself: Don’t seek if from others. It is important to know you are a loving giving person who will be there in times of need. You do not need to exhaust yourself trying to help everyone in the hopes of feeling valued. You are enough, know this and believe it.


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